Rising and Shining

Uuuugggghhhh. Florida summers are sssooooo hhhhhhooottttttt. Pried my lazy self out of bed this morning at 6:00am and was out the door by 6:25 to meet Erin. Did I mention how ridiculously HOT it is?? We sweated through over six miles, but I felt like I was running directly into a brickwall most of the time. There's something about that level of humidity that zaps your energy and makes you wish you lived in a climate where you can't wring out your socks in the first five minutes out. Thank God the marathon is in January! I can't believe we've got to start our training regime soon. Seems like just yesterday I blew threw the finish line at the half marathon. Now, seven months later, it's time to start getting serious about this endeavor.

So, unrelated to running, I read a book recently that's got my mind buzzing. It was actually a birthday gift to Adam from a friend, but I borrowed it for the plane ride to Las Vegas. The book is called "The Heroine Diaries" http://theheroindiaries.net/. It's written in part by Nikki Sixx, bassist for the band Motley Crue. It's the story of the diaries he kept while he was an addict. It's shocking, depressing, and in parts totally disgusting, but I can honestly say it was the best read I've had in awhile. It's one of those books that you can't believe you're reading but are really glad you did at the end. The layout of the book is very eccentric as well-- the pages are white with typewriter font, splattered with drops of read meant to be blood, and often with violent or vulgar illustrations. It was funny actually, on the plane to Las Vegas I was sitting next to a woman that was praying the rosary during take-off, and here I am with this shocking tale of debauchery wide open for her to see. I kept trying to hide the illustrations with my book mark as to not offend.

The book is so sad because it's someone's real story. It's our tendency to never think of addicts as real people, especially rock stars. You just assume they are pathetic losers with too much money to burn and no concept of the real world. Up until I read this book, I had the same assumptions. But now, I recognize that the addiction is often a symptom of the real problem, which in Nikki Sixx's case, was major depressive disorder. Back in the time of his addiction (1980's), depressive disorder didn't get the same recognition as an illness as it does now. In fact, prozac was still a new drug when Sixx first starting taking it. Now, the medical community and society in general recognize depressive disorder as the illness it is, and suffers can get the help they need before the disease manifests itself in the form of addiction.

Anyone would feel bad for Nikki Sixx as he describes holing up in his bedroom closet, surrounded by drug paraphenalia, drug-induced hallucinations convincing him people were trying to break into his house. There are many times in his diaries when he says he wants to stop, but can't. He talks about being completely alone, feeling no one cares. Maybe I related to this book because of the postpartum depression I went through following Anthony's birth. I know what its like to feel so helpless and sad, and though my depression was mild compared to many, it was a very dark time for me to feel so unlike myself, even in the face of the joy I was experiencing with the birth of my son.

This book just got me wondering how many women suffer through postpartum depression, and it makes me all the more motivated to do my part to help these women find themselves again. For me, running was the key, and completing the half marathon was the epiphany I needed to break through. For other women, I hope what I do with Baby Boot Camp will help them find happiness and purpose. I hope "The Heroine Diaries" helps to shed some light on the seriousness of depressive disorder. It's not only rock stars that end up with addictions.

In Health,
Chantel