... and then moments like those

Easy come, easy go. It took exactly 4 hours for the warm fuzzies I experienced earlier to vanish into thin air, replaced by all the annoyance and frustration that comes along with parenting an obstinate toddler. People (including the pediatrician) have been warning me for months that toddlers hit a point where they don't want to eat anymore because their bodies don't need the same amount of calories to grow as they formally did. This seemed to happen to Anthony overnight-- one day he was chowing down, the next two bites sustained him the whole day. Today, he ate his oatmeal and banana fine, and had a nutrigrain bar at 11:00am. After a very long nap, I couldn't get him to eat a thing at 2:30pm. I figured he'd be starving by dinner, and I wanted him to eat before my yoga class tonight and before he had to go to **Du-duh-DA-DAAAAHHH** the dreaded GYM CHILDCARE CENTER!

So at 6:00pm I fixed up a yummy dinner of fish fillets and veggies from the beef stew Adam was making in the crockpot. Mr. Obstinate turned up his nose promptly at the veggies. Ok, fine, says I, let's try the fish. No go. Now I'm getting annoyed, but trying not to let him see that as to not fuel the fire. Since he's acting like a baby, I grab a jar of pureed sweet potatoes (aka baby food), which is normally a crowd pleaser. Nah-ah, he ain't having it! I must admit, now I am P-Oed! Our battle becomes a power struggle, in which I lose all sense of reason (how do you reason with a toddler, anyway?) and vow to get some food in that gullet if I have to hold him upside down and pour it in the old fashioned way! Ok, I never intended to do that, but believe me, the thought crossed my mind.

He promptly burst into tears, shaking his head vigorously. I give up on the table, let him out of his high chair, and then try to feed him again in the living room, where he usually has breakfast. All toddler hell is broken loose at this point, and he's wailing as I get more and more frustrated. I give up entirely on the food, just trying to get him to calm down enough that we can go to the gym. He's shifted to high gear now, and there's no turning back. He calms down while we're on the short ride to the gym, but once we get there and enter the childcare center, he lets out full-on hysterics as I pass him to the care attendant. I felt so bad for her, passing on this screaming pile of toddler theatrics while I ran off to teach the class, but I had no other options. Needless to say, I was beyond embarrassed.

The hour apart was good for both of us, as we had both calmed down by time I picked him up. He ate some oatmeal and banana before bed, so hopefully he won't be up at 3:00am tonight wanting to eat. That was the main thing for me-- I knew if he went all day without eating, he'd be wanting mealtime in the middle of the night, and that is not happening!

The emotional roller coaster of parenting a toddler makes me dizzy sometimes. We're up, we're down, we're upside down, we're blasting off at 60 mph and coming to a screeching halt. I know I have to learn to not try to out-stubborn him, but it's so hard to let him get the best of a situation, knowing it could lead to more exaggerated problems in the future. I know that toddlers eat less than babies and I shouldn't have gotten so determined in making him eat, but I also know he can, and probably would, wake up hungry in the night as he's done it before. I also know he butts head with me more than anyone else because I his mother, and he's intent on pushing his limits.

Today was a day of rest from running, but I intend to keep this situation fresh in my mind as I head out tomorrow night. Frustration fuels my running, so I should be on par with the Olympians tomorrow!

My Frustrated Marathon Mommy

Calgon, Take Me Away!

Don't you just love old 80's advertising references??

Well another week down with full time Scrunchie duties. MAN, I'm tired! I hit a wall this week and had a mini meltdown, typical Chantel-my-world-is-crashing-down style, and now that I got that out of my system I'm feeling much better. After two straight days of regular fits and lack of events to put on the social calendar, I suddenly wanted nothing more than to run back to my cushy old job and retreat into my own little world. I had no concept of how much is really involved in being with my own child all day, every day. Sure, we had the weekends before, and I was always picking him up by 3:30 each day, but that really is a completely different beast than being Mr. Short Attention Span's soul source of entertainment. I started feeling like I did when I first had him-- like I was a failure as a mother because I wasn't enjoying our long days together... and it seemed neither was he.

After a few better days, help and pep talks from the always-supportive Adam, and a well deserved massage, I don't feel like I'm buried under an Anthony avalanche anymore. I realize that ALL moms feel this way at one time or another, and it's the lack of structure and schedule that's getting to me more than anything. In a week, I'll be starting the long anticipated Baby Boot Camp classes, and I've developed a full social calendar in addition to the regular classes, so hopefully me, Anthony, and my clients will be happy, entertained, and fit for some time to come!

I logged in 20 miles running this week, my first post 15 mile week since the beginning of the summer. Marathon training officially starts next week. Erin and I are psyched. I've been preparing so long, I'm ready to plow into this endeavor full force. It won't be long before they turn off the faucets here in central Florida and the weather starts getting nicer, and it'll make it easier to get out there. Yesterday morning, we went for a 6 miler and I felt like I was running through a sauna (or a bowl of soup, same difference) the entire time. It wasn't a good run yesterday. I felt sluggish and tired, but I think that was a result of the early start time and the fact I had such a long and exhausting week. It didn't bother me though, because I did complete the run despite the fact it wasn't going that well for me, and I know it's just a one day thing and not the start of a new trend. Now why can't I approach the rest of my life with such an easy attitude? Why do I always tend to be so all encompassing with my gloom and doom when it does hit? I need to take my running attitude and apply to to my mommyhood!

Chantel